Nurturing Self-Worth in a World of Doubt

Have you ever stood before a mirror, wrestling with the reflection that stares back at you? It's a moment we've all faced, where doubts about our worthiness creep in, despite the accomplishments we've amassed. In this episode I take you through my intimate struggles of worthiness and confidence, dissecting how these forces sculpt our existence.  We'll explore the disturbing trends in women's self-esteem, and I'll guide you on how to mend these shared scars, fostering a community where every woman's worth is not just recognized, but celebrated.

The journey to healing doesn't end with acknowledgment—it's about transformation through action. So, how do we silence the relentless critic in our head? I share my toolkit of strategies to shift from self-sabotage to self-support, including the power of mind-body connection and setting boundaries that honor our self-worth. By setting up support systems, like the Beyond Common  Coaching and Training Programs and engaging in the Beyond Common Women in Business Supportive Facebook group, you can create an environment that cultivates and sustains your sense of value. 

Are you ready to say goodbye to fear, frustration, and overwhelm when it comes to growing and scaling your business? You’re in the right place. Welcome to  Beyond Common Business Secrets Podcast I’m your host, Tracey Watts Cirino

Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of Worthiness vs Confidence
• 15:16 Building Worthiness in Self-Talk
• 25:35 Embrace Your Worthy Self

Transcript

Tracey Watts Cirino: 1:10

Hello and welcome to Beyond Common Business Secrets Podcast. I'm your host, Tracey Watts Cirino, and today we're diving into a powerful topic that can transform your personal and professional life. This is the power of worthiness versus confidence. The power of worthiness versus confidence. So have you ever felt like you're faking it until you make it, or you've been told that your whole life, or you thought that was the key to all success and happiness, or that, no matter how much you actually achieve, it's never enough? If you've ever felt that way, then this episode is for you, my friend, and I am so grateful that you are here.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 2:06

So let's start out by first defining these two concepts. So confidence is the belief in your abilities and skills that's crucial for achieving goals and taking action. We dive so much into confidence and creating the skills that grow confidence In my first book, Beyond Common the 12 Essentials to Success in Life, in the Workplace, and inside our digital training program that is called Beyond Common Essentials. So there is so much that we dive into in this area of confidence, because, you know, confidence comes through taking action right and developing this skill set that helps us achieve those goals, achieve those goals. So worthiness, on the other hand, is this inherent belief that you deserve love, respect and success just for being who you are, so regardless of any achievements, that you absolutely are worthy of it and that you deserve it no matter what. So understanding the difference between these two can help you build a solid foundation for lasting success and personal joy and fulfillment.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 4:00

The thing is is that, if you're anything like me, I did not grow up knowing that we were allowed to feel worthy of stuff Like it was actually quite the opposite, and this has been an area that I would say probably for the last 10 years of really diving deeper in, because I think at first, when I started playing with and exploring this idea, it was like do the things that help you build the confidence. But it wasn't until gaining more confidence that true healing started to happen for me, later realizing that on some deeper level, I innately did not even believe I was worthy of anything, and in my journey of helping so many high-achieving female entrepreneurs and leaders and just even females leading their family, there is an immense pressure for external sources that they have to look a certain way or they're not worthy of things Like that is a huge percentage, so it's approximately. The latest research from Forbes is approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and this is why they resort to dieting to achieve their ideal shape, and it's unfortunate, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type that's often portrayed in all of our American media. So the thing is is that we have to go-sabotage and depression and low or no self-esteem and it has been my personal mission and journey. I often used to say that if I was ever given that microphone as Miss America, when they give you that, like, what do you want to do for the world? It's like I have always said I wanted to cure and heal the world.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 6:45

Low self-esteem, Like if you could just give everybody in the world that feeling of fulfillment and joy and that sense of really feeling worthy, of achieving you know, everything that they desire, just because you're worth it. You know that is like the ultimate for me. So that's why we talk about so many different systems strategies, talk about so many different systems, strategies, healing modalities, tools, resources on Beyond Common Business Secrets Podcast, because there are so many different things that we need to heal this. So why is worthiness so powerful? Well, if you look at it, it's like confidence can waver between a lot of external factors, like whether we succeed or fail a task, even though you know we talk about this all the time, but you never fail right, you never fail. It's like failure is part of the steps on our way to success, and that is just like feeling the fear and doing it anyway. But worthiness worthiness is an internal and it's unwavering. So when you know you're worth it, you approach challenges with a deep, with like a deep-seated belief that you are enough. Like you already know, you're enough no matter what the outcome.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 8:26

Now, this is an area that I have a lot of vulnerability around this, because this is an area of constant, never-ending growth and improvement for me. I don't know if I will ever have it as an automatic. This is something I constantly have to work on, and this is tricky because I am very passionate. This is a topic I speak about when I speak to a lot of women's groups, because it's an area that I have personally struggled with, and it even took me years and years to be able to talk about worthiness, because I never felt like I was worth it. So this is the thing that talking about it bringing light to the fact that so many you know, women and men are suffering from this and we just have to bring light to it. It's like this can exist in our shadows and this is maybe like the dark part of myself that I hid for a long time. And the only way to really help heal ourselves and then help heal humanity as we go through this like lack arms you know lacking arms and walk through this together is by shedding some light on it.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 9:55

And the thing is is that this intrinsic feeling of worthiness helps you recover from setbacks faster and keeps you grounded in the face of adversity. So if you have a goal and you're pretty confident in your business and you know that you can do it like if she can do it, I can do it, If he can do it, I can do it You've got all these positive mantras, You've had some success, so you start to build confidence. But then all of a sudden you have a series of no's or doors slamming your face. That just kind of kicks you in the teeth a little bit. This can wreak havoc on your confidence, right, and that's okay because you just keep getting up.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 10:44

But when you feel not worthy, like oh, this happens to everybody but me, Like this is when it gets really dicey, because that's the thing. It's like you are worthy of it just because you thought of it. So, whatever your goal is, whatever this big dream of what's possible, it's like you are worthy of it just because the fact that it was an idea, a thought in your brain. You are worthy of it just because and the more that you can adapt, learning how to love and accept yourself exactly as you are, while still having the desire to chase after a goal or a dream like that is all well and good and we can continue to gain confidence and know that we are worthy no matter what. So this is where a lot of healthy, you know, mental health comes into play here, because you know, like some of us that weren't sort of raised with giving the green light on worthiness, this can be a challenge and this is where we can fall into states of depression and not thinking that we're worth it. But the more that we start to know and ingrain healthy habits in our body that allow us to really accept that we are worthy and that we are worth it and that we are part of the divine energy of the world, that is absolutely worth achieving all of our goals, dreams and desires and we are loved, accepted and appreciated, even when we don't. So if we can talk about different Because now it's like, okay, now how do we make this tactical? Now let's talk about how we can cultivate worthiness.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 13:09

So the very first thing is practice self-compassion. Like you want to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a friend. You also can look at this through the eyes of a toddler. A toddler gives you grace even if you're in a bad mood, even if you are stressed out and frustrated because they cried a lot. They still show up for you and love you, no matter what right. So like you can sometimes look at different ways that you are granted grace, you know, but by first practicing self-compassion and, you know, treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you'd offer a friend. Like you would never say, like if a friend was like oh man, I had this goal to hit $20,000 in sales this month and I only hit 18 and I just feel like such a jerk, I'm such a loser. You know all of these things that we might say you would say to your friend are you kidding me? You're amazing, Like that amazing, that's awesome. You are worthy of hitting that and so much more. What you do, this goal of hitting, whatever it is 10,000, 5,000, it doesn't even matter what it is 20,000, whatever this goal is does not define your worth. We often have to separate who we are from what we do, because who you are, as a soul, as a beautiful human, you are absolutely worthy of it all and you need to comfort yourself with grace and understanding and that practice of self-compassion, the same way you would for a friend, a colleague, a team member.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 15:17

The second area the second thing we must do is recognize negative self-talk. So the moment we can sort of give up all criticism of self, that will help you more than anything else. Really recognize, like, if you notice that you are calling yourself a meme or saying something negative. This is an area I know for years and years. When I coach people and I hear even staff members that I work side by side with for years and years, I would be like, hey, I don't like that you're talking about my friend that way and it's just like catching yourself right, Like catching yourself when you could be so unconscious that you are saying negative or critical things about yourself.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 16:14

This is an area that you don't want to give permission to just anyone, because there are, you know, some of the people in our life. This is going to be a no-fly zone and you all know who those people are. Like it's a no-fly zone. You don't need those people that you have not given permission to to point out that maybe you called yourself a name or said something negative or critical of yourself. There are certain people that it's going to be like pouring salt on a wound. So don't give the people that are in the no-fly zone for for this, don't give them permission on this, but people that you know can love and support you through waking up your awareness and bringing yourself into a more conscious alignment of this. You want to give you friends. Maybe it's somebody in your house that can. My son, Dominic, is really good at this, so I would have no problem to say to him hey, I'm really working adjusting this behavior. Will you, in a loving way, let me know if I go unconscious and talk to myself negatively. So this is an area that you can ask a coach, an accountability partner, a trusted friend, colleague, but just be very careful.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 17:41

We want to bring awareness to this and then we can replace this with affirmations that reinforce the inherent self-worth that you already have within. You already have this. It's almost like we just have to turn it back on. Right, we have to turn it back on because society has led us to believe somehow that we weren't worth it. And now we have to release the criticism, release the negative self-talk, because that is not good for us, Even though somehow the wires were crossed and we thought that that was actually us being humble. And it's not True. Humility comes from knowing your worth and standing up for what you believe in with conviction, no matter what right. That's the thing.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 18:36

So when we can bring awareness to where we're coming from a place of criticism or negative self-talk and we can replace it with positive affirmations like I am worthy, I am appreciative, I approve of myself, I accept myself and really replace this with some affirmations that we actually believe you have to feel it in your body. Saying affirmations that we actually believe, like you have to feel it in your body, saying affirmations just for the sake of it is just gonna make you go. Oh, I don't believe that. Like you have to get to this place, that you're able to elevate your vibration and feel it in your body in a way that it's like powerful. It almost zaps you into it and when you get there, you're able to reprogram this. And this is an area that takes work and this is an area that you can work with a trusted healer or trusted coach, somebody that you trust to really help you through this. But, my friend, you are worth it. You are worthy of it all and anything and everything that you've ever thought of, dreamt of, desired or dreamed of is possible and you are worth it.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 20:01

So the that it is okay to say no and maybe, if you are really just bringing a newfound awareness to this, maybe you limit your time and exposure to friends and family that bring you down, that maybe do have a lot of these unconscious negative biases. Maybe, for now, you tune that out. Like one of the best ways that I work on this is I do not watch negative news and I limit my exposure to negative friends and family. I love them with all my heart and soul, but I protect my energy and my vibe with everything and though I love them, I have to love me and what I'm here to create and impact and serve my clients, the world, my children. I have to protect that and I have no apologies about that and it took me a long time to get here. But know that it is okay to say no and prioritize your well-being, because you self-sabotaging and self-sacrificing does not bring your gifts to the world. You protecting your well-being and showing up as your best self when you help serve the world is how all of us collectively can walk arm in arm and really tap into our true sense and nature of worthiness.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 21:52

So it is so, so important to surround yourself with people who affirm your worth. Build a support network that uplifts and encourages you. If you don't have it now, join a meetup group, join a Facebook group, read books, listen to more podcasts with people that know you're worth it and that are helping you uplift worthiness in general, Because I often will hear people say no, I only have negative people all around me, I don't know what to do. Well, you got to make new friends, even though it's scary. So join our free Facebook group Beyond Common Business Secrets. This is a supportive network that uplifts and encourages you. If you want an even deeper dive, join one of our group mentorship programs. We have so many different ones. You want to write a book? We have something for that. You want to do time saving we have the CEO Power Code. Time-saving we have the CEO power code. You want to do the goal accelerator mastermind like? Reach out and join a group of women that are here to support you and uplift you and encourage you all along the way. And I want you to remember that confidence can be built through practice and experience, but worthiness is a mindset that requires consistent nurturing.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 23:25

So one of my absolute favorite ways even though it's weird and creepy at first, I'm not going to sugarcoat this is doing a mirror exercise. It literally is looking in the mirror and appreciating yourself, showing yourself the love and kindness and allowing yourself to feel worthy, no matter what, no matter how hard of a day it is, no matter what epic fail you just experienced, no matter what blew up today, no matter what you weigh, no matter how many zits you have, no matter if you keep getting raccoon mascara all over your face, because every single time you're doing your makeup, you sneeze. That was me this morning. The thing is that the mirror exercise is so important to love, honor, appreciate and accept yourself exactly as you are. So that is always my go-to that I have every client start with. It's also my go-to when I feel like I'm slipping.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 24:36

So often we think we have to go to the external world and fix something outside of ourselves. But the more time that I spend and the clients I serve and mentors that I work with, the more time that we spend healing the inner, like really working on the inside. That is where that true worthiness comes from. So, you know, when it comes to really like wrapping this up, the best thing to walk away with is that always thinking about confidence is believing you can do it. Worthiness is knowing you deserve it, no matter what. Both are essential, right. Both are essential to our growth and development, but worthiness is the foundation that makes your confidence unshakable.

Tracey Watts Cirino: 25:36

So let us know if you got value from this episode. I congratulate you for being here, my friend, because you are absolutely worthy of it all. But let us know, give us feedback on this episode If you would like more resources, more support in the area of worthiness. I wanna thank you for joining us here on Beyond Common Business Secrets and if you found this episode valuable, please subscribe, Leave us a review wherever you tune in to podcasts and share this with three friends that might need a boost of worthiness today. This is an epidemic that we can cure one inside at a time. So until next time, my friend, embrace and know that you are absolutely worthy of it all, that I absolutely love you and I hope you have the most beyond amazing day and I will see you on the next one. Take care, my friend.