How To Trust Yourself Again After Setbacks And Struggles

Have you ever felt like life knocked you down so hard that you stopped trusting yourself? Maybe you made a decision that didn’t turn out the way you hoped, or life threw unexpected challenges your way. In this episode of Beyond Common Business Secrets, host Tracey Watts Cirino dives deep into the process of rebuilding self-trust after difficult times.

You'll discover:
✅ The hidden reasons why we lose trust in ourselves
✅ Practical steps to rebuild your confidence and intuition
✅ How to break free from self-doubt and move forward with clarity
✅ Real-life strategies to trust yourself in business and life again

If you've ever struggled with second-guessing yourself or feeling stuck after a setback, this episode is your roadmap to reclaiming your power. Tune in now and start trusting yourself again!

🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube and your favorite streaming platforms!

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Are you ready to say goodbye to fear, frustration, and overwhelm when it comes to growing and scaling your business? You’re in the right place. Welcome to  Beyond Common Business Secrets Podcast I’m your host, Tracey Watts Cirino

Transcript

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Hello and welcome to beyond common business secrets.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Today we are diving into how to trust yourself again after setbacks and struggles.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So I wanna welcome, all of you listeners here today with us. I'm your host, Tracey Watts Cirino, and if you're new to us here on beyond common business secrets

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Tracey Watts Cirino: we love to dive into what's going on under the surface, like those topics that not everybody else is talking about, that really help you gain clarity so that you can set yourself up

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Tracey Watts Cirino: to live your best life. So in this episode, like, why, it's so important is we are going to dive into how to trust yourself again after setbacks and struggles, and if you've ever wondered how to transform that doubt

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Tracey Watts Cirino: into strength, this is the episode for you.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and even if you have ever felt like you've lost confidence in your decisions, or you found yourself second guessing everything. I want you to know, my friend, you are not alone. You are not alone. Life's a big challenges, you know, whether it's in business relationships

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Tracey Watts Cirino: or areas of your personal growth. They can shake and rattle our trust within ourselves. So what you're going to gain in this episode is we're going to explore why we lose self like, why we lose self trust. We're going to give you some practical steps to regain it.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and we're gonna dive into how to stay confident even after life's big challenges and curveballs. So in in this episode, we're gonna uncover the hidden reasons

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Tracey Watts Cirino: for why we lose trust in ourselves.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: And when I say practical steps to rebuild self trust and confidence. It's like, even if you're in the thick of it. You're in this time and space where

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Tracey Watts Cirino: you it doesn't seem like you're making any good decisions, or you've activated that fight or flight. And you are in that moment of absolute freeze.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: We're gonna unpack this and move forward with clarity, with clarity and boldness. So why do we lose self-trust?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Sometimes it's a betrayal, right? Sometimes it is a betrayal by by ourselves or others. So when people break our trust, or we

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Tracey Watts Cirino: quote unquote, fail ourselves. It creates self doubt. So common causes of I've of this loss

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and betrayal can sometimes be a failed business decision or a financial setback that often creates a lot of doubt. We consider ourselves failures, and I'm going to give you some

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Tracey Watts Cirino: tips on how to reframe this.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: But for now let's just call it what it is when we are using language that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: calls us a failure or causes us to feel like a failure. It is going to create a lot of doubt. And it's really going to erode the trust we have within ourselves.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Other betrayals are, you know broken relationships, personal losses, or unexpected life shifts like sometimes it can be a medical, you know, a medical thing that happens, and it feels like our bodies betraying us. So there are a lot of forms of betrayal, both inner and external, and

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Tracey Watts Cirino: even it could be like a wrong choice that led to a really tough outcome. So some other reasons that we lose self-trust are just the fear of failure, like experiencing a setback, can shake our confidence in our abilities. So sometimes it can be where we

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Tracey Watts Cirino: are so afraid of failing that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: we don't have the confidence to move forward. So it's not even that we failed. Yet we just have this like, deep.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: this like this, this deep burning feeling that it's like, Oh, I I just need to get this right. It it just.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I'm so doubtful that I know what to do. And oh, my goodness, I've got to get this right so that fear of failure can keep us crippled with doubt and in irrational fears that don't allow us to move forward. External conditioning can be society, society, family past experiences that shape our self perception. So it could be like

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Tracey Watts Cirino: all the external conditioning that society has thrown our way, that maybe your family puts on you, that maybe people in your family. Everyone goes to medical school, but you've gone to medical school, and you hate being a doctor. Well, okay, let's change that. You know what?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: What's a new thing that is better in alignment for you. Society can be that. You know, I know as a as a female, as a woman in business. It's like society has taught us that we often have to choose one or the other like we have to choose being a good parent or

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Tracey Watts Cirino: running a successful business, or we get into a lot of this headspace about

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Tracey Watts Cirino: how to actually be successful. Or Oh, I have to work harder. I have to work harder. I have to outwork everyone. It's the only way I can prove my worth.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So oftentimes our brain reacts to failure and fear. So we have to get back to understanding that our minds, just our minds, are wired for survival, which means when something doesn't go as planned, we often go into protection mode which can lead to overthinking self doubt and hesitation. This is just automatic things that happen.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Because we're wired this way, and this can cause us to get into another reason why we lose our self. Trust is perfectionism. We set these unrealistic expectations makes us feel like we're never enough.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So we're we're not smart enough. We're not good enough, we don't. We're not special enough. All of this stuff. It's like enough already. Another thing that happens is we ignore our inner voice, the more we dismiss our intuition, the harder it is to trust ourselves. Now

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Tracey Watts Cirino: you'll often hear this called your

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Tracey Watts Cirino: your gut or your you know. What does your heart say, or what does your gut say? And

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I want to just cut through all of the different verbiage and terminology and stress the fact that you want to dive into listening to your inner voice.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Right? What is this inner voice telling you that is going to be the best guidance for you.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So what whatever you call it.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: it is your inner guidance system. So you want to start tuning into this. So

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Tracey Watts Cirino: these have been, you know, some of the reasons why we have overthinking is that perfectionism we have self-doubt hesitation. It's like we have been listening to society, and what the conditional

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Tracey Watts Cirino: like what those conditional factors have been for so long that we don't even know what our inner voice sounds like. So those are all the reasons like that we lose self trust. But what we wanna

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Tracey Watts Cirino: talk through now is, let's talk about like reframing the past

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Tracey Watts Cirino: so we can reframe it. And instead of looking at it like, oh, I failed, or I made all these mistakes. What if you said.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: what did I learn? You know what was my biggest takeaway. How did I grow from that past experience and win, lose whatever? What will I learn from this future experience that I'm like standing on this holy jumping off point. So these are just you know things. Another way you can do this is to really think about.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: really think through

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Tracey Watts Cirino: what it looks like to reconnect with your inner voice right what it looks like to reconnect with your inner voice.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Another thing is to celebrate your small wins like every decision that you make with confidence helps build a stronger foundation of self-trust, and then you want to release perfectionism and self criticism.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Another thing that I find really works is

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Tracey Watts Cirino: to use what I like to call the what would you tell a friend? You know you often if your friend.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: your best friend, was in your shoes. What advice would you give them?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Give yourself the same grace, because often, when it comes to ourselves, we are not, gonna

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Tracey Watts Cirino: proceed with as much love and grace, and I want you to look at this through the lens of like. If a friend came to you with the same problems, challenges, even quote unquote failures. What would you? You know? How would you advise them?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: How would you be their most trusted, best friend, and give them advice? That shows Grace.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Now, I've created a list here for you that are your steps to regain self trust. So if you want to dive into what this looks like it would be one. Acknowledge your feelings, validate your emotions and experiences. It's okay for you to be upset with yourself

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Tracey Watts Cirino: that things didn't go as planned. But you want to acknowledge that you're upset, and as you start to work through this, you'll realize you're not really upset with yourself. You're upset with

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Tracey Watts Cirino: the outcome, like what you know, that you had this vision for what you wanted to happen. And then this is the reality.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So when we align ourselves with acknowledging those feelings and validating that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: you have these emotions and experiences, and how would

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I work through this, so that I can feel

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Tracey Watts Cirino: more of the feelings and emotions that I want to feel like. What is it going to take for me to feel good about this?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I oftentimes will like journal and write this all out like every single thing I'm angry about, and then and then I do not allow myself to sit in that I don't wallow in that I then will turn it around to now. What

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Tracey Watts Cirino: will make me feel good in this moment? How can I turn this into a positive? What will validate my emotions, but also help me spin this in a way that makes me feel good about it.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So that is, that is just like something it's like, Hey, I'm going to feel the the feelings. I'm going to feel the emotions, but I'm not going to stay there. If they are not in alignment with my ultimate vision, for who I am and what I believe I want to feel, and

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and B. The essence of my being, of who I am and who I show up as in the world. So number 2, you want to reflect on past wins. Remember, when you made good decisions. This I often will tell my clients that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: having a list of your wins and victories is such a good thing. So anytime you have a bad day. Feels like you got kicked in the teeth. Everybody complains, everywhere you go. People have like said cruel things to you. You know, whatever that looks like. Whenever you have a day like that. You pull this out. And you remember all of these great decisions you've made, and all the good that you've done, and it can pop you right out of that mood so quickly. So you don't have to wallow and live there.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: The other thing is, number 3 is set small achievable goals. When you have suffered a great loss like, you know, failure of a business bankruptcy, broken betrayal of a relationship

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Tracey Watts Cirino: people people stealing from you,

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Tracey Watts Cirino: hiring betrayals. There's there's a million things in both the business side and personal side that it could be, and we don't want to wallow there. But when you have suffered these great losses, and you want to rebuild

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Tracey Watts Cirino: the number. One thing you need to do is to set small achievable goals. So you want to rebuild your confidence step step by step. So I have this like this list of 7 for you. They're not in any particular order, because, depending on what you're going through and what you're coming back from.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: you will pick and choose. But these are the 7 that you can use over and over again. So number 4 is to practice self compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and patience, just like I told you before, when we talked about that reframe, of what would I tell a best friend

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Tracey Watts Cirino: who suffered this same fate like? What would I tell that best friend?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: And knowing I would give such grace.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: do the same thing for yourself. This is how you practice self-compassion.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Number 5, strengthen intuition, spend time in absolute stillness, and listen to your inner voice.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: This is a muscle that you have to build back up.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: If you have been drowning out your inner voice, your inner guidance system with

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Tracey Watts Cirino: what society thinks you should or shouldn't. Do, you know, quote unquote air quotes.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: then you've got to develop this right. And I know a lot of the a lot of the people I work with.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: When we inside my programs and my one to one clients, we will often run your human design chart and within human design. Everybody has a strategy and authority. And when you know your strategy and authority we can talk specifically about, are you the type of person that should be listening to your gut.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Are you to ride the emotional wave? Are you somebody? That is a soundboard, and you need to hear it back. Are you someone that is supposed to follow your heart and your will center.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: When I say, here, strengthen your inner your intuition.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: spend time in stillness and listen. This covers the gamut of all of that. Listen to your inner voice. We all have an inner guidance system. Human design just happens to be a tool that can help us decipher the language. That is easier for

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Tracey Watts Cirino: for us as individuals, to understand like mine is listening to my heart when my heart wants it. I know it's in alignment. But if I am forcing it because

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Tracey Watts Cirino: someone else thinks I should, or it's a societal expectation, or even a family obligation. I know it's a hard no for me. It's just a no, because I don't want to get tangled up into that mess.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Every time I do that I don't have a good outcome. My, you know I end up angry, and I like to live in a world that is filled with peace and understanding, and I use my anger when I feel myself getting a little bit

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Tracey Watts Cirino: activated through anger. I know that that's me living in my not self, and that's like the human design language around that. So if you would like more like to go, dive more into this, I have tons of

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Tracey Watts Cirino: past podcasts that are all about aligning with your human design. You can sign up to have a

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Tracey Watts Cirino: a chart reading where we really dive in to your personal success strategies. So I offer a ton of resources and support in this area when it comes to aligning with your energy for human design. So check out the website. It's all@tracywatserino.com, and you can find it in so much of the show notes for all the episodes of beyond common business secrets.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So moving on to number 6. Surround yourself with support. When you have suffered any type of loss you need people that are your number. One cheerleaders in your corner, surround yourself with people that want you to win, be around those who uplift you and believe in you

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Tracey Watts Cirino: right, even even if you have suffered a great loss, surround yourself with those people who uplift you and see your value, and celebrate how amazing you are, who know your worth.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Surround yourself with those people. Number 7, take consistent action. So we often want to retreat, and almost, like, you know, an animal out in the wild. We want to just like lick our wounds and kind of hide out

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and trust grows through aligned actions, not just thoughts. So you want to move through

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Tracey Watts Cirino: your body on this. You you don't want to just have a thought. You want to take aligned action and move through your body.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So I want to share like it's not fear. Fear is not the enemy here. It's actually an action, and taking small steps will rebuild that trust muscle over time. So

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Tracey Watts Cirino: when it comes to trusting yourself in business and leadership.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: both entrepreneurs and leaders. You need that muscle of self trust to make decisions so that you can delegate and take bold moves when necessary. Trusting yourself isn't just personal. It's essential for your success, because so much of this is about following that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: inner guidance, like really knowing intuitively what your inner voice is calling you towards. So that is super important. Now.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: to reset this like these are ways that you can, you know, slowly take action to regain self-trust. But I created a List of daily Affirmations to rebuild your self Trust. So you are able to every day look at this through the Lens of

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Tracey Watts Cirino: How can I, you know, like, how can I do this and know that I am capable? I am.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I am capable, and I am strong. I am.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I am resilient.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I trust my intuition to guide me. My past does not define my future.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: every challenge I overcome strengthens me, every decision I make empowers me

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Tracey Watts Cirino: to more and more aligned decisions. I am learning, growing, and evolving every day. I choose to believe in myself.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I trust myself to make the best decisions available to me in this moment.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Every day I strengthen my self-trust.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So something like that sometimes I Riff, you know these are the ones that we created for you for those of you that are watching on Youtube. You can, you know, screenshot this, it's super helpful.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: For those of you that are listening to the podcast on your favorite podcast channel, you can go to Youtube and subscribe to our channel, which is Tracy. And you can find this right there. So I hope that you find this super helpful, because one of the things that I have noticed

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Tracey Watts Cirino: with all of this is that even

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Tracey Watts Cirino: even when, like, even when trusting yourself.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: even when we learn that trusting yourself is a journey, not a destination, that every step you take builds a stronger foundation.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I have noticed that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: even celebrities and people that we look up to as gurus, and in men and different mentors.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: when they share their real life examples.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: we are able to see ourselves in them, it makes them more relatable. So I grabbed a few here to remember. So I want you to think about. Have you ever struggled with self trust, and if you have.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I'd love for you to share it in the comments and share with us what helped you rebuild it.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: You can share it right on Youtube under this video, or you can go to our Facebook group

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and it is beyond common business secrets and share it with us in there. But what I've noticed is that you know, really amazing people that we look up to and see all the cool stuff that they've done like Oprah. Winfrey overcame setbacks to build an empire by trusting her instincts right. The door was slammed in her face so much they told her. She could never

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Tracey Watts Cirino: be an on air personality. And boy, is she laughing all the way to the bank? Right?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Sarah Blakely, who is the founder of spanx. She took risks.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: huge risk, despite rejects like despite total rejection, and she believed in her vision when nobody could even see it like she had no one's attention, and she believed in the power of her vision, and how this would help women feel great inside their clothes, you know.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: when they're getting ready for work, and she had this clear vision. I often look to Mel Robbins. She is the author of the newest book, the Let them theory. She talks about filing for bankruptcy before her speaking career even took off like her, and her husband

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Tracey Watts Cirino: had a a restaurant business, and they were quite successful. And then they wanted to double down and go bigger. They took a huge risk and it didn't pan out. The market shifted. They had some challenges, and they were in debt almost a million dollars, and

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Tracey Watts Cirino: this is somebody who was

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I think she was either just under 50 or over 50 when this happened, and she still was able to turn it all around and launch her very successful speaking. And

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Tracey Watts Cirino: She, I think, now, has 3 New York times bestselling books, so

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Tracey Watts Cirino: it's never too late. You're always right on time you got this.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: You just have to remember that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: missteps, setbacks are part of life. It allows us to grow, it allows us to expand. You know, one of one of the one of the things that happened with with me is that you know we had a very successful in person business, and I needed to let that go because I

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Tracey Watts Cirino: my whole life shifted right? I mean, a lot of people had this happen because of Covid, but my whole life shifted my childcare situation, and I went all in from being a very ambitious career, driven woman to being a woman that was focused on

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Tracey Watts Cirino: childcare. And we didn't have the same. We didn't have the same opportunities in place anymore. So I had to make some serious decisions. So I had to let go of a very successful business that was tried and true. I'd been doing it for 20 years. We had. You know, we had figured out a methodology, a formula that worked for us.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and I had to completely let go of being successful over here and start something brand new, and I didn't know if it would flop or fail. Right? So since then I'm happy to report that even in the thick of it all the painful stuff that I've shared with you guys every step of the way. The thing is is that you know. Now I'm happy to report that I'm a 5 time international bestselling author

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and our podcast is ranked in the top 5% of podcasts ever created in history. So

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Tracey Watts Cirino: following my heart and knowing that

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Tracey Watts Cirino: even when we stumbled and failed and had issues, and you know, financial setbacks and all the the stress

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Tracey Watts Cirino: it still was worth it. Because

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I get to help people in a bigger way than ever before.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: So, no matter what you've experienced in life, I invite you to look back and and really define, like, where have you struggled? Where have you struggled? So

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Tracey Watts Cirino: my call to action, for you to really, not just listen passively to this, podcast? But to really integrate and embody this work into the essence of who you are. I invite you to choose one of the self trust actions

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and implement it today.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: and then let me know in the comments which one you're you're taking like. Which one are you taking action on?

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Tracey Watts Cirino: And

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Tracey Watts Cirino: I'd like for you to join the conversation. Share your biggest takeaway in the comments of this video right here on Youtube or

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Tracey Watts Cirino: in our Facebook group beyond common business secrets. It's a private Facebook group. Just, you know.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: let us know that you want to join, and of course we'll approve you. So another week you can take action is

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Tracey Watts Cirino: you can work with me. You can learn to rebuild your confidence and success in life and business. A lot of the work I do involves women that decided to leave a corporate career behind, and then they were so excited to go into business. But then, all of a sudden, they're lacking confidence. They don't know where to begin. They don't know how it translates, so I'm a huge advocate in my coaching practice of helping women through the transitions. So

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Tracey Watts Cirino: reach out to me through my website, tracywaterino.com. And right here subscribe and follow.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Don't miss the future episodes of beyond common business secrets.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: We are in this together, and I just want to thank you for tuning in to another episode of beyond common business secrets. Keep believing in yourself. And even if you have those moments of doubt. Take

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Tracey Watts Cirino: an action. Take any action. It doesn't have to be perfect action. It can be messy action, it can be messy. It can be the

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Tracey Watts Cirino: the best decision you have for that moment. It doesn't have to be that forever. I know I'm doing the right thing kind of thing. So just keep believing in yourself. Keep taking action, and remember you are more powerful than you think, my friend and I will be here every step of the way, cheering you on as always. I hope you are having the most beyond amazing day, and I will see you on the next one.

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Tracey Watts Cirino: Take care.